Hello universe, it’s been a while.
When I first started this blog a few months ago, I felt an irresistible draw to doing so, and doing so professionally. For two weeks, this website was all I thought about; its name– Zahra is Burning — a mantra on my lips.
I’ve always been drawn to words. From my early childhood dreams of becoming a playwright, to my college LiveJournal musings, to my chosen profession as an attorney, aka professional writer and communicator, I’ve always known that words are the most important part of my life.
But for so long, I was silenced. I was silenced by parental decree (“Don’t tell others how you feel about us or your siblings; they won’t understand us.”). I was silenced by cultural expectation (“If a woman expresses her desires, she’s ‘high-maintenance’ or ‘needy’. Don’t be high-maintenance.”) I silenced myself (“Go with the flow of whatever everyone else wants to do because if you express your own desires, you will be rejected.”).
I allowed fear to control my words and my actions for too long.
So I took a first step in committing to reclaiming my voice by creating this space. And then I promptly ignored it for months. I had plenty of excuses for doing so, good ones, too, but at the end of the day, my fear won out. My fear of rejection if people didn’t like it. My fear of uncovering painful truths I didn’t want to face. My fear of being vulnerable and making difficult decisions to live a more authentic life.
I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want to live in fear of what others will think of me. I don’t want to live with my head buried in the sand of my own experiences and ignore my desires. I want to be the heroine of my own story.
And that starts today.